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I’ve probably talked about this before, but this time we’re gonna get real. I have tried to start new habits on January 1st of many years (or January 2nd depending on how I celebrated December 31st—hey, I said we’re gonna real). But each and every New Year’s Resolution came to an end—either it was too much too live up to, or I wasn’t willing to make the changes and sacrifices necessary to see them through. We look at a new year as a fresh start, to do and to be better. But I think resolutions fail not because of our resolve, but because of what we’re basing it off of—which, in this case, is a date.
Really, a date?
No wonder I’ve failed so many times—and I’m assuming the majority of you have too. The same has happened for other resolutions I’ve made based on dates—the first day of school, where I’m going to actually use my school planner and I will not procrastinate (HA!). Or on Monday, I’m going to start exercising every day. Or after this party, I’m going to eat better portions. Or on this birthday I’ll start praying more…you get the idea (and have probably tried using similar ideas).
We need to base our resolutions on something that means more. Something that can actually keep us going. That’s what it took for me. For a long time I didn’t really rely on Jesus much. Sure, I went to Mass (and worked for the Church) – but I didn’t allow Christ to be my foundation. I didn’t make changes based on what God was calling me to be. How God was calling me to improve.
But in order to base our resolutions in God, we need to know God. In order to know God, we need to spend time with God. In order to spend time with God, we need to…SPEND TIME WITH GOD.
Yes. Prayer. Exactly. Prayer. Prayer? Prayer.
I don’t know if I mentioned this, but prayer is kind of important. If you want to have a better relationship with God, you need to pray. If you don’t want a better relationship with God, you still need to pray, probably even more. Regardless of how good you think your relationship with God is, it can be better. But it can be challenging to pray more consistently. It definitely was (and is) for me. There’s so many things I want to get done in a day, and prayer used to always (and sometimes still does unfortunately) take a backseat to everything else. But once I finally started making more intentional time for God, I started becoming a better husband, parent, friend, minister, and Catholic. How did I get to praying more often? I got a spiritual director. A spiritual director is someone you meet with regularly (at least once a month) to talk about your faith life (and anything else in your life since it all is connected to your relationship with God). They give you guidance and advice. For me, my spiritual director held me accountable to pray consistently—not that he was forcing me to, but because I wanted to be able to tell him when we met that I’ve been praying more.
Once I got a much better prayer life, I pray now totally for me and not to impress my spiritual director. It can still be a challenge to fit it in my schedule, but I really want to do it now. I want that time with God. And because of my time with God, He leads me to where I need to go. He directs the changes within me that I need to make. Since those changes are based in Jesus Christ, my resolve to work on them—no matter how many times I fail—remains strong. If the fail is big, a good confession gets me going again. Confession’s really the “New Year, New Me,” but better. I go to confession, and it is literally a new start.
I’m no longer trying to improve myself for whatever reasons I made up for wanting the changes. I’m changing for God. There is no giving up and waiting until next year. I just try again.
Wise and Winsome Words!
Continue your journey my friend. God is leading you to higher and higher places. It’s been a blessing to be able to witness it so closely.