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I’ve been struggling with what to do and what to say about everything that is happening right now with the Black Lives Matter movement. Mostly because I’m afraid.
But my fear is insignificant.
I’m afraid of being rejected by friends and family who believe we are being deceived by the media, or who do not see the racism or believe it to be true.
Do I believe the media to be deceiving? Of course – but that doesn’t mean that racism and police brutality aren’t really happening.
Even though a majority of friends and family are supporting, sharing, attending, and posting Black Lives Matter, I’m still afraid.
I’ve been trying to figure out where that fear comes from.
Today I listened to a friend’s homily he shared with me – Deacon Rubén Solorio (friend him if you have to on Facebook so you can watch it – definitely worth it). I encourage you to listen to it, but in it he shares how we as Christians should be willing to suffer, to bear our cross, for God. Yet how many of us are really willing to do that?
How can I call myself a Christian, let alone go out and speak on retreats and conferences about Christ and living like Christ? Too often I am unwilling to speak out on the teachings of the Church – specifically now for the dignity of every human being – in fear of facing rejection. Rejection, which Jesus Christ took on for my sins. Rejection, which Jesus Christ calls each person who says they’re His disciple to.
I’m afraid of rejection because for most of my life I’ve done almost anything to avoid it. All I sought more than anything was acceptance.
So I’ve been afraid to post anything in fear of being rejected by some. And this is not the first time I’ve been afraid to post on a topic. I’ve seen how vile people can be online and I fear being on the receiving end of it.
But this is not the time to be silent. This is not the time to let everyone else speak up and hope the changes happen while I stay safely out of it.
Because I’ve offended people before. If you’ve met me for more than a few minutes, I’ve probably offended you. And although I’ve gotten more concerned and aware of offending people, I wasn’t always worried about it and I was (and still am to a certain extent) willing to offend people for a laugh.
So why am I not willing to offend people for a life? Even though I’ve experienced racism, it is nowhere near to the extent or danger that Black people have experienced.
There will always be racists. Always. There’s no way to force someone to agree with you. There will always be people you have to tolerate. But what shouldn’t be tolerated, at all, are racists who are in positions of authority.
