This is a huge change for me.
Sure, I got married.
Sure, I’ve had kids…a few times over.
Getting married and having kids though – there was a natural flow of events that led up to that.
But I don’t think I’ve made a decision solely based on discernment.
Until now.
I quit my job at my parish.
Yeah, I know.
I’ve been working for my parish for over 11 years – started part-time back in 2007 with the last 8ish being full-time.
I’ve been involved in youth ministry at my parish for pretty much the entirety of my adult life. It is something that defines me and has redefined me. And I owe much of who I am (including my wife) to youth ministry (okay, to God of course, but in youth ministry is where she found me…I mean, I found her).
My wife asked me years ago how long I planned to work at our parish. At the time, my prayer life was minimal (i.e. only when I needed wanted something from God), and so my response was basically
Needless to say (but going to say it anyway so I guess the real needless part was “needless to say”), she wasn’t satisfied with that answer.
Back in 2002, I was invited to volunteer in youth ministry (didn’t want to at first). Eventually I was offered a job part-time to run the youth group (didn’t want to at first). A few years after that, I was offered the full-time role to run youth ministry, including Confirmation), and young adult ministry (didn’t want to do Confirmation at first…you seeing a pattern?).
During that time, I slowly realized I liked giving talks (again, didn’t want to give talks at first). I had a talent for it, and I enjoyed being in front of people. However, I didn’t pursue it just because I wanted it, and I figured if God did want it, He’d make it happen (without actually talking/listening to God about it).
And guess what?
It didn’t.
Sure, I gave talks on my parish retreats and other retreats in the area. There was a couple conferences in the mix too – but nothing seemed to take off as I assumed it would.
Eventually (finally), I started praying more, and it led me to realize that even though God had led me into a life of ministry, and that He wants me to do a new ministry, that I had to put in the work to make it happen. I couldn’t do what I’d been doing, which was just waiting and seeing what would happen. That if I really wanted to follow God’s path, I had to be proactive.
And so I started putting myself out there, and I got a few more opportunities to speak/facilitate/lead retreats and conferences.
But I couldn’t maintain trying to do this new ministry, working full-time in a parish, having young kids, and a full-time working wife. And I wasn’t willing to give up this precious time with my children. So I stopped putting time into it.
So, after more discernment and discussions with my wife, we decided it was time for me to quit at my parish.
And although I’ll have more time to give talks on retreats, conferences, or wherever else God is calling me, the majority of time will go towards being with my children and taking care of things around the house so that my wife can have more time for work and the kids.
It’s a big change for me (and my family, and our parish) – this was my first full-time job, and although it might not seem like the best timing being in the middle of the year, I know this is what God is calling me to. And in the end, His plan matters more than anyone else’s – including mine.
Deepu,
To many of us choose the path of least resistance. I’m very proud of you for trusting in God for what he has put on your heart. I will continue to pray for you and Beth as you move forward putting God and your family first ! You have already made an impact on the youth in your community. I am looking forward to watching your journey as you walk with God.
Love, Todd Carpenter
Deepu, it is sad to hear that you are leaving your paid position at the church. You have positively influenced so many lives. I am glad I got to meet you through the Confirmation program.
Continue to pray to God. He may be using to touch thousands of peoples lives. In addition to being a great husband and father, you may have time to brainstorm how you can put together a video that other ministers could use to share with their youth.
It’s nice to know you will have quality time with your children while they are young…..you can’t get that time back……as you know.
You are in my prayers for you to serve God in a bigger platform.
May God bless you and your family!